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After the lost of someone important in your life, you will deal with grief. I must say that with each person I’ve lost that my grief has been different. I’ve felt differently every time and the same might apply to you. You will deal with your grief differently because your situation was different. As much as I can relate to someone who has lost a father, my relationship with my father might’ve been different than yours. I can’t pretend to know what you’re feeling or understand. Then what can you do when someone else is grieving? What can you tell them? Are there practical steps you can take yourself while grieving?

1. It’s okay – not to be okay.

Find someone in your life that you can be “not okay” with. This might be your best friend, a sibling, a parent, or someone who barely knows you. You might seek counseling by a pastor or a professional.

2. Your grief will come and go – and that’s ok.

CS Lewis in A Grief Observed:

“It doesn’t really matter whether you grip the arms of the dentist’s chair or let your hands lie in your lap. The drill drills on.”

3. Healing begins in worship.

Corporate worship with other believers and personal worship, where you strive to understand God and love Him for His purposes. My youth pastor told me this after I lost a dear friend when I was 16. It has stuck with me ever since. It’s really hard to worship after something bad has happened. It will be one of the most difficult things to do, but it will also be the most rewarding.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 –

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Grief is a marathon, not a sprint. But be encouraged (Psalm 30:5):

For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Katie Allred

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